South Korea trip

We've been planning a trip to South Korea for over 10 years and something would always come up with family health issues or financially we just couldn't swing it.  Finally, the day came when we could travel to the beautiful country that our children were born in and we could immerse ourselves in their culture.  Over the next several days I'll be posting a day by day summary of our trip. It was the trip of a lifetime and we were able to share it all with Kevin's mom and dad and my mom as they traveled with us on this epic adventure.  If you have any questions or want more info please email me at JustWedeminute@gmail dot com

Thanks for reading,

 

Cast iron skillet pizza

Anytime I'm looking for a sumptuous recipe I ALWAYS go to my best friend Mika's blog first and this time was no exception.  If you've been following me for very long then you know that Mika and I met 15 years ago when we both adopted our beautiful daughters from South Korea.   We've developed a friendship that's more like family and enjoy spending as much time with them as we can.

Mika and Bailey on the right and Kenzie and I are on the left.  This was a Dillon picnic when the girls were just around 1 year.

Mika has this amazing blog called Mika's Pantry and she is definitely a foodie, if you want the most amazing recipes click on her link now!  She makes these pizza's that are so mouth watering and are to die for.  They have a pizza oven grill and make up new pizza's all the time.  Last time we visited she made a BBQ pizza that was out of this world.  Now, she's into cast iron cooking and of course she HAD to make pizza in it and I had to try my hand at it too.

First I placed the dough in a greased 12" skillet and then covered it with a disposable shower cap.  Shower cap???  I buy them in bulk for really cheap and then use them like you would those more expensive covers from the grocery store.  They're great for 1/2 a watermelon or anything that's an awkward size and shape.

 So the big secret that everyone shared with me was that you need a very hot oven like 450-500 degrees so the crust get a nice crunch to it.  For more info click here and read Mika's detailed instructions!

It's really deep dish and delicious!

Thanks for reading,

 

Dear Mom of an Adopted Child (guest post by Kathy Lynn Harris)

As most of my faithful readers know, we've been so blessed by our 2 adoptions.  Sometimes you can't put your feelings into words and sometimes you can and when you do everything just clicks.  It makes you cry, think, pray and be thankful and this letter to an adoptive mom resonated with my heart and soul(or Seoul for the mommies of Korean children).  I wanted to share it with all of the other adoptive mommies out there and with all of my wonderful readers.  Kathy Lynn Harris perfectly described how I feel as an adoptive mom.  If you'd like to check out Kathy Lynn Harris' blog just click on the link.  She's funny, she's spunky, she's a hoot and one of my new favorite blogs out there in bloggerland simply because she's a great writer!


Dear Mom of an Adopted Child,

I met you in adoption education class. I met you at the agency. I met you at my son’s school. I met you online. I met you on purpose. I met you by accident.

It doesn’t matter. The thing is, I knew you right away. I recognize the fierce determination. The grit. The fight. Because everything about what you have was a decision, and nothing about what you have was easy. You are the kind of woman who Makes.Things.Happen. After all, you made this happen, this family you have.

Maybe you prayed for it. Maybe you had to convince a partner it was the right thing. Maybe you did it alone. Maybe people told you to just be happy with what you had before. Maybe someone told you it simply wasn’t in God’s plans for you to have a child, this child whose hair you now brush lightly from his face. Maybe someone warned you about what happened to their cousin’s neighbor’s friend. Maybe you ignored them.

Maybe you planned for it for years. Maybe an opportunity dropped into your lap. Maybe you depleted your life-savings for it. Maybe it was not your first choice. But maybe it was.

Regardless, I know you. And I see how you hold on so tight. Sometimes too tight. Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?

I know about all those books you read back then. The ones everyone reads about sleep patterns and cloth versus disposable, yes, but the extra ones, too. About dealing with attachment disorders, breast milk banks, babies born addicted to alcohol, cocaine, meth. About cognitive delays, language deficiencies. About counseling support services, tax and insurance issues, open adoption pros and cons, legal rights.

I know about the fingerprinting, the background checks, the credit reports, the interviews, the references. I know about the classes, so many classes. I know the frustration of the never-ending paperwork. The hours of going over finances, of having garage sales and bake sales and whatever-it-takes sales to raise money to afford it all.

I know how you never lost sight of what you wanted.
I know about the match call, the soaring of everything inside you to cloud-height, even higher. And then the tucking of that away because, well, these things fall through, you know.

Maybe you told your mother, a few close friends. Maybe you shouted it to the world. Maybe you allowed yourself to decorate a baby’s room, buy a car seat. Maybe you bought a soft blanket, just that one blanket, and held it to your cheek every night.

I know about your home visits. I know about your knuckles, cracked and bleeding, from cleaning every square inch of your home the night before. I know about you burning the coffee cake and trying to fix your mascara before the social worker rang the doorbell.

And I know about the followup visits, when you hadn’t slept in three weeks because the baby had colic. I know how you wanted so badly to show that you had it all together, even though you were back to working more-than-full-time, maybe without maternity leave, without the family and casseroles and welcome-home balloons and plants.

And I’ve seen you in foreign countries, strange lands, staying in dirty hotels, taking weeks away from work, struggling to understand what’s being promised and what’s not. Struggling to offer your love to a little one who is unsettled and afraid. Waiting, wishing, greeting, loving, flying, nesting, coming home.
I’ve seen you down the street at the hospital when a baby was born, trying to figure out where you belong in the scene that’s emerging. I’ve seen your face as you hear a nurse whisper to the birthmother that she doesn’t have to go through with this. I’ve seen you trying so hard to give this birthmother all of your respect and patience and compassion in those moments—while you bite your lip and close your eyes, not knowing if she will change her mind, if this has all been a dream coming to an abrupt end in a sterile environment. Not knowing if this is your time. Not knowing so much.

I’ve seen you look down into a newborn infant’s eyes, wondering if he’s really yours, wondering if you can quiet your mind and good sense long enough to give yourself over completely.

And then, to have the child in your arms, at home, that first night. His little fingers curled around yours. His warm heart beating against yours.
I know that bliss. The perfect, guarded, hopeful bliss.

I also know about you on adoption day. The nerves that morning, the judge, the formality, the relief, the joy. The letting out of a breath maybe you didn’t even know you were holding for months. Months.

I’ve seen you meet your child’s birthparents and grandparents weeks or years down the road. I’ve seen you share your child with strangers who have his nose, his smile … people who love him because he’s one of them. I’ve seen you hold him in the evenings after those visits, when he’s shaken and confused and really just wants a stuffed animal and to rest his head on your shoulder.

I’ve seen you worry when your child brings home a family tree project from school. Or a request to bring in photos of him and his dad, so that the class can compare traits that are passed down, like blue eyes or square chins. I know you worry, because you can protect your child from a lot of things — but you can’t protect him from being different in a world so intent on celebrating sameness.

I’ve seen you at the doctor’s office, filling out medical histories, leaving blanks, question marks, hoping the little blanks don’t turn into big problems later on.

I’ve seen you answer all of the tough questions, the questions that have to do with why, and love, and how much, and where, and who, and how come, mama? How come?

I’ve seen you wonder how you’ll react the first time you hear the dreaded, “You’re not my real mom.” And I’ve seen you smile softly in the face of that question, remaining calm and loving, until you lock yourself in the bathroom and muffle your soft cries with the sound of the shower.

I’ve seen you cringe just a little when someone says your child is lucky to have you. Because you know with all your being it is the other way around.
But most of all, I want you to know that I’ve seen you look into your child’s eyes. And while you will never see a reflection of your own eyes there, you see something that’s just as powerful: A reflection of your complete and unstoppable love for this person who grew in the midst of your tears and laughter, and who, if torn from you, would be like losing yourself.

Thanks for reading,

 

The Choice-a book review

About the Book:

One young woman. Two very different roads. The choice will change everything.

Even as a pregnant, unwed teen in 1974, Sandy Lincoln wanted to do the right thing. But when an ageless woman approached her in a convenience store with a mysterious prophecy and a warning, doing the right thing became even more unclear. She made the best choice she could . . . and has lived with the consequences.



More than thirty years later, a pregnant teen has come into her life, and Sandy’s long-ago decision has come back to haunt her. The stakes rise quickly, leaving Sandy with split seconds to choose once more. But will her choice decision bring life . . . or death?



"The Choice shows the struggles of unplanned pregnancy and the courageous act of adoption in a way that I haven't read before . . ." —Abby Brannam-Johnson, former Planned Parenthood Director and author of Unplanned.

About the author:

Robert Whitlow grew up in north Georgia. He graduated magna cum laude from Furman University with a BA in history in 1976 and received his JD with honors from the University of Georgia School of Law in 1979. A practicing attorney, he is a partner in a Charlotte, NC law firm. He and his wife Kathy have four children and three grandchildren.

Robert began writing in 1996. His novels are set in the South and include both legal suspense and interesting characterization. It is his desire to write stories that reveal some of the ways God interacts with people in realistic scenario's.



This biography was provided by the author or their representative.

 

My Opinion:

 

This was a hard book for me to read, don't get me wrong it's very well written and tugs at your heart.  I'm on the other side of adoption, the side that took the children in and loved them, raised them, wiped tears and bottoms, eased worries and listened to the anguish of wondering why they weren't wanted by their birth parents.

  I've always wondered about the other side, the unselfish mom, dad and/or both that gave up all parental rights so their child would hopefully have a better life.  I worry if I'm doing a "good enough" job, would the birth parent look at us and regret the decision or know without a shadow of a doubt that they did the right thing.
  I cried, no I actually sobbed while reading The Choice and I grieved with the birth mom's in this book.  Even though I'm on the other side I can clearly see how much courage it takes to place a child for adoption, it's an unselfish love.  If I could talk to my children's birth parents, I would thank them over and over for giving me the life that I always dreamed of with children that I prayed for, it seemed like an eternity but it was only 8 years that I prayed for children.  I'd do it all over again if I could and if God called us to adopt again!  I give this book 5 stars out of 5 stars for showing the "other" side of adoption, the heartache, pain, grief, worry, regret and God's perfect will and timing.      

 

Thanks for reading,

 



Happy 9th Gotcha Day Kylan!

Every year since the kids have come home from Korea we have celebrated their "gotcha day", the day that we "got" them from S. Korea.  Today is Kylan's 9th gotcha day, wow how time has flown by so quickly and right before our eyes this little guy is now 1/2 grown, before we can turn around he will be off to college!  It's crazy!  He has been such a huge change in our life, I never grew up with boys in the house, just my sister and myself so I was so shocked by some of the things this little guy has done but without him life would be BORING!  He brings a smile to our face and laughter into our life, I'm so proud to call him my son.  Kylan, we love you and thank God for you each and every day since He has brought you into our lives.

Here are the gotcha day posts from 2010, 2009, 2008, and 2007.

If you are just starting to follow Just Wedeminute you might want to read about Makenzie's adoption and 10 year gotcha day here.

ADOPTION and Third Day

Adoption is a huge part of our lives, we wouldn't have our precious kids without it and we also wouldn't have met so many of our wonderful lifelong friends without Dillon International (the agency that we used to adopt our kids) we call ourselves blessed to have adoption in our lives.  If you've been blessed through adoption leave me a comment and let me know but also go to the Third Day website and help them make this video by sending in your adoption pictures!

 This was the first time Kylan and daddy met each other at the Tulsa airport

This was the first time I met Kylan at Easter Social Welfare in South Korea.

Kevin and I brining Makenzie to the Tulsa airport.

Adoption has made a huge impact on the Third Day families. So they would love to hear how it has impacted you and share that with the world. They are making a video for their concerts that includes you and your family for details click here.

McLinky Monday-For what are you thankful?

I'm seriously loving those RHOK girls, they are fun, sassy, classy and a little crazy and I like it!  If you want a good laugh go read about the Ben Affleck sighting by Mrs. Albright, she's a hoot!

Anyway, I'm linking up again for McLinky Monday and this weeks questions is For what are you thankful?  I'm thankful for many, many things in my life.  My wonderful church, my awesome hubby and of course my wonderful, amazing, precious children!  I blogged about Kenzie's 10 yr gotcha day yesterday and was brought to tears while I was writing my post, a flood of emotion hit me as I thought about how much our life has changed in the past 10 years.  So the answer to the question is ADOPTION, I'm very thankful for ADOPTION!  We were told we would NEVER be able to have children after years and years of trying and after 6 miscarriages.  We did try domestic adoption but it didn't work out for us but we do know MANY people that it has worked out for.  Dillon International helped change the course of our life forever, they are an amazing adoption agency and are here locally in the Tulsa area, if you have any questions please call them at 918-749-4600 and they can help you or you can email me!  November is National Adoption Awareness month, please leave me a comment and let me know how adoption has touched your life!

 These are our adoption day pics from when the kids legally became our children, they were taken at the Tulsa Court House!

Happy 10 yr Gotcha Day Makenzie!

Nobody can ever know about all of the heartache, suffering and pain and pure joy that you go through while trying to adopt unless you've actually walked in those shoes and it's a bond we share with many, many other adoptives families that we have been so blessed to meet during this adoption journey.  It's a lot of work proving that you will be a fit parent for these precious children and you have worries about will it be "enough", will they pick me?  I'm sure most parents go through a lot of these emotions but it's a little different for adoptive parents because we have people come through our house for a homestudy and make sure it's ok for a child, it is nerve wracking and emotionally draining on top of all of the interviews, meetings, paperwork, fingerprinting, police records check and the list goes on and on.  Will we EVER get through this is a question we asked ourselves often.  Then the big day comes and you get a referral (we even got a picture AND a video of Kim, Sun Hwa), this adorable, chubby cheeked, black haired, almond eyed child is going to be ours after years and years of praying for a baby and exploring so many options along the way, we finally have a picture....now comes the really hard part WAITING for her passport and visa when you know what she looks like and all you can think about is that she's getting bigger and bigger and is she smiling? is she rolling over? can she say any words? is she attaching to her foster mom?  will she have attachment issues or will she bond with us? Questions, worries, waiting, happiness that you have a child in this world but you haven't met her yet...it's a swirl of emotions.  Then, the call comes in that she has a visa and passport and a lady(we love you Beverlee) that we've grown to love and trust is in Korea and is willing to bring her to us...oh happy day!  We rush to LA, California and anxiously await her arrival....but wait SURPRISE the morning she's supposed to come in we hear a knock on our hotel room door and it's Kevin's parents and my mom, they want to share this joyous, happy day with us!  Then, time seems to stand still while we pace about the LAX airport just waiting to see her and then she's here and all of the sudden all of the past 8 years of trying to have a baby fade away and are just a distant memory and our daughter is safe in our loving, open arms at last!!!  November 19th, 2000 is a day Kevin and I will never forget, God answered our prayers and gave us a wonderful, special gift of Makenzie Nicole Wedemeyer and for that gift we are eternally greatful!  The past 10 years have been the happiest 10 years of my entire life and I know it's because of this blessing sent from God with a detour through South Korea!  If you have questions about adoption please email me at adoption questions I would love to help others experience this wonderful gift!
I Samuel 1:27 For this child I prayed and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him!

Please leave me a comment and tell me how your life has been touched by adoption!  November is National Adoption Awareness month!!!

Every year on our children's gotch day we eat Korean food in honor of their birth country and we give them a small gift so they know that we love and cherish them and think the day we "got" them is very special.  We look through their Korean box, which holds their baby clothes that they arrived in from Korea, an extra diaper from Korea, and any pictures that were taken while they were in Korea, some Korean money and any other items sent to the U.S. with them from their foster family.  This year we were blessed to eat lunch with the wonderful Delano family and they helped us celebrate Kenzie's 10 yr gotcha day, they are in the adoption process for a sibling group so please keep them in your prayers!

Mika's pantry blog

One of my besties of all times, Mika,  has started a cooking blog called Mika's Pantry and I just wanted to share with all of my readers because she has some great recipes!!!  Leave her a comment and let her know you stopped by!

Her and her husband adopted Bailey at the same time that we adopted Makenzie.  Everytime we go visit them in OKC they try out new meals or their favorites at the time on us and EVERYTHING is always so delicious!!!

This is a pic of Mika and Bay and Makenzie and I at the Dillon Family Picnic 2001

Korea Camp 2010

Every year we sign our kids up for Korean culture camp, since they are adopted from S. Korea we feel it's our duty to help them learn more about their Korean culture plus they get to hang out with all the other kids that were adopted from Korea and they are building a lifetime of memories!  If you would like your children to attend Korean culture camp you can click here and you don't have to be Korean to attend.  Here is a slideshow of the pics from camp, hope you enjoy it!  The kids also get to see that their are a lot of other kids that look just like them, with beautiful almond shaped eyes and that gorgeous skin tone and the glossy, black hair.  They learn how to handle racial comments or hurtful comments about adoption, this is very useful, you would be surprised at all of the inappropriate questions we get asked about Korea and the adoption process.
Oh, it also gives us parents a nice time to visit and attend classes like Korean cooking class,  workshops on how to be better parents to our adopted children, and we hear from Korean birthmoms and learn more about the Korean culture and the guys go golfing a lot of the time!

Going Home trailer

We found out about this documentary through some friends that have already seen it and they said it's "AMAZING". It's the journey of a young Korean adoptee that journeys back to South Korea in search of his birth family. I know that I will be moved to tears because this could be my children sometime in the future. It feels weird to think of my children searching for their birth family but if that's what they want to do then I will support them and be happy for them if they choose to search.

GOING HOME Trailer from ThirdCat Productions on Vimeo.

Visit Seoul.net for more info on South Korea

If, for Adoptive Parents

If, for Adoptive Parents
by Vernell Klassen Miller

If you can freely give children your heritage and graft them into your family tree, and if you can point them to their first roots with honesty and gratitude - then you can parent with confidence, knowing you are offering a lifelong gift.

If you hope your children will mature into the likeness of Christ (even more than you desire them to resemble yourself) - then you have chosen the highest goal of parenthood.

If you listen to others describe the births of their children and feel just as proud of the way your children came, then you know the true meaning of "childbearing."

If you look stereotypes, false reports, and myths in the face and wonder what on earth they are talking about; if you can listen to thoughtless words of friends with patience, and say to yourself, I will overlook that: they don't know how it sounds (yet be able to discern the time to speak); and if you can read research and psuedo-research and sense any bias - then adoption has done more than bring you children. It has sharpened your ability to identify with minorities.

If you can step into a type of parenthood upon which society places a "role handicap," and not assimilate that perception into your own; if you have ever looked into the eyes of your child and known that he or she was always yours; if you have at the same time given thanks for another woman with whom you share the title of "mother" - then you can help your child build strong self-esteem.

If your heart swells with pride at your child's successes; if you hold that child when he or she fails; if you do not blame the failure on genetic origin nor blame yourself but "own" it because your child is yours; if you pray desperately for the salvation of your children, saying (like Moses did) that if they cannot join you in God's kingdom, you cannot go either - then you have learned to pray. Then parenthood has seeped into your soul, even if it didn't emanate from your body, and you will never not be a parent again.

If you rise each morning resolving to be an ideal parent but break your best intentions before noon, forced to acknoweldge your humanness and humbly press on; if you offer your spouse and children the same forgiveness you receive from God; if you can point your children past your own sins toward God and his family - then you have truly become a parent. Then your family will be a beacon in a dark and lonely world.

May God go with you, and may you experience JOY!

Happy 7th Gotcha day to Kylan

This was the very first time I met Kylan. He was not a happy boy and was scared of me. I only had 1 hour with him that first day and he cried for about 45 min of it.

This was pure bliss...holding my son for the VERY first time. I had been dreaming about this day for months and months. After so much paperwork, days of crying and praying for this child the day had finally arrived!

Yes, he finally calmed down enough so I could hold him!

This is the board with the babies names that are leaving Korea
Kylan's foster mom saying goodbye to him. It was really hard on her to let him go and she cried a lot. We are very thankful that she took such great care of him while he was waiting for us to finish up all of the red tape (Paperwork).


The moment he was placed in my arms before we were leaving Korea. This was his "Gotcha" moment for me. This is what I think of on his special day. Yes, I am crying...notice the time 12:35pm in Korea. We arrived home the same day but it was actually about 30 hrs later due to travel and time changes and crossing the International date line and everything


Now, I am not crying just happy that he's finally in my arms and we are leaving for the US pretty soon!

Kylan in his white hanbok that we bought for Connie and Brian's wedding








Kevin and Makenzie dropping me off at the airport for my journey to South Korea to pick up Kylan and work for 2 weeks on a MOMs mission trip with Dillon International

7 years ago today I woke up in Seoul, South Korea anticipating the moment when Kylan's foster mom would place my son in my arms and I would be able to get on an airplane and bring him home to meet his daddy and sister and the rest of our friends and family for the very first time. The moment he was placed in my arms was a feeling that I will NEVER forget, it was such a miracle adoption and when the moment that we had been dreaming of had finally arrived I was overcome with joy, and just started crying and thanking God for this little miracle boy.

This is such a happy day for us but I have noticed that the older my kids have gotten the more questions they seem to have on their gotcha day. I know it's a happy day for them as well but in some ways they seem a little sad too. I just pray that we can answer all of their questions to the best of our ability and that Kevin and I are sensitive to their inquisitiveness about their adoptions, foster families and especially about their birth family and the reasons that they were not able to stay in Korea. We do try to teach them as much about Korean culture as possible and they go to a Korean culture camp every summer (which they LOVE). They learn Korean songs, dances, Tae Kwon Do, Korean games, how to eat with chopsticks, Korean food and many other things plus they built friendships with other children that were adopted from S. Korea. Every time we pick them up at camp and I look out across a sea of black haired children I am thrilled that our adoption agency has this opportunity for our children. They come home talking about how all the kids at camp look similar to them and I can see that this excites them and makes them happy. OK is not a very multi-cultural state so when the kids see other Asians they always ask me if they are Korean too and I wonder if it bothers them that in most of our groups (except our adoption friends) they are the only ones that are not Caucasian.

If you have questions about International adoption please click here. To read what I wrote about Kylan's 6th gotcha day in 2008 and read about the other end of the trip which was the arrival in OK click here.

For more info on Korea go to Seoul.net

Prayers for the Horton family

Please keep a dear, sweet family in your prayers especially on Tuesday because they will be travelling home from South Korea with the newest addition to their growing family. His name is Drew and he's so adorable and it's been a long road for them and they will finally be on their way home with him. If you want to see beautiful pictures of South Korea click here they have taken some wonderful photos.

OKC BFF's

We have these great friends in OKC that we met through our adoption agency. They were adopting Bailey through Dillon International at the same time that we were adopting Makenzie. The girls have been lifelong friends...even before they came home from S. Korea they were destined to be friends. Kylan puts up with the girls but he likes to hang out with Bay's brothers Tanner and Tyler and they are teenagers so he's lucky if he gets the chance to hang with the older boys. We always have so much fun with the Garnett's. Over the long weekend we went to Lake Hefner, hung out at their house, went to the park, played games, ate (we are Mika's official taste testers for new recipes), went to the OKC Zoo and went shopping. We packed in the fun for a long weekend!

Prayers for the Chapman family

Please keep Steven Curtis Chapman and his whole family in your prayers. Their youngest daughter that was adopted from China was run over by a car that their son was driving. This must be a horrible time for the family. I can't imagine having to live through this horror so we need to lift their whole family up in prayer. If you want to know more click here. They also have a blog you can check out here